Reel Pop

Webcam confessionals aren't exactly oratory at the caliber of Henry's St. Crispin's Day speech, and the videos don't often merit repeat viewing.

But if you watch enough videoblogs -- and here I'm talking about the earnest, amateur, alone in my room types of videoblogs -- you begin to notice recurring vocal and visual tics: The "ums" and the "hey guys" that get things rolling; The self-conscious hair touching; The shifty eyes that focus on camera then screen, camera then screen. Is this just normal people being normal people, or have videobloggers adopted a visual language for the Web. I mean, why all the fidgeting, fussbudget?

Before you accuse me of being too critical -- there's another videoblog staple, the preemptive defense -- let's not forget that some videobloggers literally live online. The Japanese charismahiki, for example, create a lifestyle by interacting with people only from their darkened bedrooms. They are enculturated almost completely through the behavior of their online peers. Do they act differently on video than in real life? Do everyday videobloggers adopt a visual shorthand for expressing emotion? Y'know, like blowing your bangs by puffing your bottom lip? Expressing confusion by scratching your head? Are their expressions exaggerated? What's the ROTFLMAO of video?

"well, um" and "hey guys"
Consider this near-ubiquitous speech pattern, tic-like in its delivery but pregnant with intentional meaning: I'm like you, no better no worse, please just listen, I want attention but I'm still vulnerable.

Or maybe we're all just learning to talk on camera. After all, we've only just started to video ourselves on a mass scale. Maybe we don't know how to act. We should look to early photography for clues to our behavior; back to a time when, like critic Henry Allen wrote, "people believed that they should strike public poses in front of the camera, fiercely noble instead of pseudo-intimate."

Maybe now it's that pseudo-intimacy we've got down pat. We're all acting like we think we're supposed to act. Or maybe we're all just acting like Bree. The "ums" and the "hey guys" -- these are just a way to fit in. How ironic, on a medium meant for standing out.

The eyes have it
Videobloggers and their zootube audience have already answered one of the weighty questions about human curiosity and free time -- if you video, will they watch? -- but have neglected a nagging question of etiquette: Where do you look when the webcam is on?

People who watch themselves by constantly shifting their eyes from screen to webcam, screen to webcam, are undeniably related to that breed of obnoxious human who calls in to radio talk shows while their own radio blares in the background. Also related: Those people at sporting events who see themselves on camera, but can't look at the camera for fear of not seeing themselves.

I assume there will be a time, a few years from now, when we're all so used to seeing ourselves on video that we won't bother with looking while we speak.

I dunno. For the last year or so, videoblogs have been refreshing departures from the over-produced pap of professional media. And those amateur production values have left an indelible mark on the way we make content.

But the more often I watch videoblogs these days, the more often I'm struck by how everybody acts the same. Switching from a three camera setup and a boom mike to a webcam and backlighting doesn't necessarily make something more real. Sometimes, it just shifts the manner of artifice.